relationships

Psychologists Explain Why Sometimes Its Ok To Ignore Your Partner

Relationship experts always stress about the importance of communication in a relationship. For relationships to work, couples have been advised to open up to each other and solve their issues together, but is this always the case?

Is withdrawal of a partner an indication of trouble in your little paradise? According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it may not be totally wrong to ignore your partner. A partner withdrawing from a significant other may lead a more satisfying life, they add.

The demand-withdraw pattern

In a study done on 1000 couples by the American Psychological Association, researchers studied the dynamics of couples. The participants were asked to willingly discuss their marriage problems and what they hoped to change in their relationship.

The researchers discovered a familiar demand-withdraw pattern. This occurs when one partner asks for something but is ignored by the other partner which gives rise to conflicts.

Ignoring and relationship satisfaction

The findings revealed that economically and socially disadvantaged couples had a stronger relationship despite the demand-withdraw interactions. But when the low-income earning husband did not ignore his wife, that’s where the dissatisfaction rated lower.

High expectations vs. realistic expectations

Its normal to think that well-off couples can easily fix they marital problems owing to the resources available at their disposal. However, their higher status might result in higher expectations which when not met, can develop conflicts or worsen the ones’ already existing.

Study lead author Jaclyn M. Ross explained that low income earning couples have realistic expectations of their situation which makes the demand-withdraw pattern less of an impact. Socially disadvantaged couples understand that some of their problems are out of their grasp, so if changing their situation is out of question, then disengaging becomes the next available and most appropriate choice.

How to ignore your husband in a healthy way

Making a relationship work is tough. As much as you love your partner, sometimes you wish that he left you alone. Sometimes, the only way to solve a problem in a relationship is by ignoring your partner, and as demonstrated by studies above, it is actually okay. There are , however, more ways to withdraw from your partner while trying to make a relationship work.

1.       Don’t engage your partner when he’s in a bad mood

Its best to give your partner some space when he’s in a bad mood. Communicating with an angry person may be difficult so it’s better to leave him be until his anger subsides. After all, you’ve also had instances when you wanted to be left alone.

In the same way if you are angry, find a way to keep your negative vibe off your partner. This is a positive way of avoiding a fight.

2.       Ignore some of his bad habits

No one’s perfect. There are traits in your partner that make your blood boil and there are some in you that he dislikes. If you were to act on your feelings, you will never live in harmony. Sometimes it’s best to ignore some imperfections and let things be.

Bad habits are hard to change, especially when someone has had them since childhood. If they are directly having a negative impact on your relationship, it may be best to just shrug it off.

3.       Go ahead and sleep even if you’re angry at your husband.

“Never go to bed when you’re angry at each other” is an advice almost old and popular as marriage itself. The idea behind this piece of advice is couples should always strive to discuss and solve their marital problems together.

However, a study published in the journal f international society of psychoneuroendocrinology revealed that it might be in your best interest to ignore your husband and settle an argument the next day after getting a good night’s sleep. You’ll be doing your health a great favor not to imagine fighting before bedtime can lead to sleep deprivation and increase the risk for multiple lifestyle diseases.

4.       Tell your husband politely that you are avoiding him.

Sometimes, the best way of handling a stressful situation is by being upfront with your partner. if you are looking for a mature way to inform your husband that you’re avoiding him, telling him directly in a polite manner might be your best bet.

In some relationships, couples call a time-out when they are angry at each other to avoid escalating their current situation. However, this works best if both couples know what they are fighting about, and if their intentions are mutual.

Bottom line, even though there are positive ways of ignoring your partner, it doesn’t erase the fact that some problems need to be addressed by both of you. Ignoring each other won’t solve or relieve you of problem at hand but it will surely give both of you time to think.

It will also help your relationship if you express appreciation of the good things that your partner does. Gratitude and affection have the power to change even the worst situations.

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